Does my child need typically developing friends? What if no one asks them for a playdate? How can I encourage friendships and social opportunities? What if they need an aide for the school dance or sporting event? How can I write socialization into their IEP? And what if their interests are very different from those of other kids their age?
Friendships and socialization can be a sensitive spot for many families like ours, bringing up big questions about social norms, inclusion, and what interests are considered “age-appropriate.” Let’s dig in.
What exactly is a special interest?
What’s your kid’s thing? Maybe it’s dinosaurs, Frozen, trains, LEGO, Taylor Swift, drawing, makeup, swords, astrology — or something super specific, like storm drains or license plate numbers. Experts tell us special interests can bring “a lot of joy and excitement,” reach a depth that can “rival that of subject matter experts,” and become “baked into someone’s identity.” And, as Clinical Psychologist Dr. Andrea Davis, puts it, they can also give parents “a way to enter the child’s world, join and enjoy what they enjoy.”
In this article:
- 5 benefits of having special interests
- Special interests in neurodivergent vs neurotypical kids
- The difference between special interests, hyperfixations, obsessions, regular hobbies, and “savant” skills
- Special interests in autism, Down syndrome, ADHD, and OCD
- Do boys and girls have different special interests?
- How to incorporate special interest in education, therapies, and day-to-day demands
- And more!
Read: What are special interests?
Numbers to note: 5.24
Special interests can start surprisingly early! In one study, the average age of first emergence was just 5.24 years old. But the type of interest matters, too: transportation, mechanical topics, and objects tended to pop up around ages 3–4, while people-focused interests emerged closer to ages 8–10. Find out why!
Special interests and socialization
Does your child talk about their favorite interest… a lot? Could a special interest that seems “too young” or “too mature” affect conversations or making friends? There’s a balance between helping kids connect with others and making sure they don’t feel like they have to hide what they love. As Licensed Educational Psychologist Dr. Liz Angoff tells us: “Age-appropriate is a social construct.”
In this article:
- How to turn special interests into social connections
- Info dumping and back-and-forth conversation tips
- Should a special interest be “age-appropriate?”
- Tips to broaden a child’s interests and perspectives
- Special interests and bullying
- How to find social groups related to your child’s special interests
- And more!
Read: Should special interests be age-appropriate?
- Socialization and Inclusion
- Socialization Goals in the IEP
- 10 Ways Schools Can Help Kids with IEPs Make Friends
- Student Rights in Extracurricular Activities
- How to request an aide for school extracurricular activities
Undivided Conversations: Socialization and Inclusion With Dr. Mary Falvey · Sunday, September 20, 10:00 a.m. PT.
We’re revisiting this parent-favorite conversation on supporting socialization, inclusion, and meaningful participation in school dances, sports, plays, clubs, and more. Streaming on Facebook and YouTube.
“Let’s Talk About…” series: NEW for Undivided members · Friday, October 9, 12:00 p.m. PT
Introducing our new “Let’s Talk About…” series — where parents can come together for informal conversations about the things families are figuring out together. Join parent and Navigator Andrea Loveday-Brown for the first session: building community to combat burnout. RSVP here→
The Parent Circle: A monthly gathering for members · Thursday, September 24, 12:30 p.m. PT
Join us for The Parent Circle, a monthly, members-only gathering over Zoom to connect with other parents who understand the journey of raising kids with disabilities — led by a licensed therapist and fellow mom. RSVP here→
Office hours: Undivided members only · Wednesday, September 23, 12:00 p.m. PT
Bring your IEP questions to office hours with Non-Attorney Education Advocate Lisa Carey during this members-only Zoom session and get answers on accommodations, services, goals, and more. Sign up here to participate→
Inclusion expert Mary Falvey says that socialization works better for kids in elementary school when teachers get involved. Hear how on our YouTube channel→
Can schools move a child out of gen ed if they need “too much” support? Our latest Undivided Update looks at what courts are saying. Watch on Instagram→
We love it when parents share their big and small wins in our Facebook group. One parent finally secured SSI for their child after two years! Join the discussion in our private group for parents→
Stay updated with disability and education news. Connect with Undivided on LinkedIn→
