If you’re raising a child with a disability, chances are you’ve spent a lot of time trying to make sense of your child’s behaviors and big emotions — whether it’s an emotional outburst, hitting, avoiding tasks, shutdowns, head banging, wandering off, refusing to go to school, or constant calls from school about “non-compliance” and “discipline.”
Sometimes what looks like “behavior” is really a sign of lagging skills, unmet needs, brain-based differences, sensory overload, or a child trying to communicate something they don’t yet have the words for. For some families — especially those fostering or parenting children with trauma histories, FASD, or emotional disability — these behaviors can have deeper layers that aren’t always obvious.
This week, we’re taking a closer look at behavior from multiple angles and asking ourselves: what might our kids be trying to tell us, what might we be missing, and how can we respond in ways that truly support them?
What’s behind the behavior?
Understanding the why behind a behavior helps families plan practical supports with more confidence and far less blame. Begin by exploring behavior from the inside out — why kids struggle, what’s underneath so-called “non-compliance,” and how stress, skills, and environment all play a role. From there, dive into practical tips and appropriate supports for navigating common behavior challenges in children — everything from tantrums and biting to school refusal, PDA, and other complex behaviors.
When there’s more to the story: explore our new series of articles
Emotional Disability (ED)
- Our article Emotional Disability (ED) (previously referred to as “emotional disturbance”) breaks down ED eligibility in the IEP process, common co-occurring conditions, school-related challenges, and parent tips.
- Top IEP services and supports for Emotional Disability (ED) explores how to build an IEP that truly supports a student with ED — from assessments and accommodations to related services, goals, and placement options.
Fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD)
- Fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD) 101 explores a diagnosis that’s often misunderstood — or missed entirely. We explain what FASD is, how it’s diagnosed, how it affects learning and behavior, and why traditional behavior approaches don’t always work without a brain-based lens.
- Supporting a child with FASD at home, at school, and in the community takes the next step: what support actually looks like in real life, advocating for an FASD-informed IEP, and more.
Fostering/adopting kids with disabilities
- Fostering to adopt a child with a disability in California walks you through the legal steps and paperwork to the emotional realities of foster-to-adopt, including education, mental health care, financial supports, and long-term planning.
- Supporting a child with disabilities when fostering to adopt focuses on the day-to-day. How do you build attachment? Navigate school systems? Advocate for services? We explore how trauma and disability can shape behavior in ways that evolve as children grow — and what that means for you as a parent.
Behavioral school supports FAQ
- How can I get behavior supports at school for my child?
- Does my child need a functional behavioral assessment?
- Can I see some examples of behavior goals in the IEP that aren’t compliance-based?
- Is ABA right for my child?→
- What behavioral interventions and therapies are there besides ABA (& are they neurodiversity-affirming?)→
- Do I have to agree if the school asks to include restraint or seclusion in my child’s plan?→
Hot topics
- Top 10 things parents wish teachers knew about behavior in school
- Top safety tips for elopement
- A parent’s guide to school refusal
- How to support a child with PDA at home and in the IEP
Just in: Disability-friendly summer camps 2026!
Our annual California summer camp list is here! We’ve rounded up disability-friendly summer camps for the Undivided community, including programs focused on sports, social skills, STEM, dance, visual art, recreational activities, therapeutic programs, sleepaway and family camps, programs for students finishing high school, and virtual summer camps. We’ve organized our camp lists by region, so you’ll be able to find the best fit for your child this summer! And remember: register early because they fill up fast! Check out our full camp roundup!
50% off a year of Undivided’s IEP Assistant — for a limited time
Curious about IEP Assistant but waiting for the right moment to try it? For a limited time, get 50% off a year of membership, which includes Undivided’s new IEP Assistant. Designed for families navigating disabilities, developmental delays, and learning differences, the IEP Assistant helps bring clarity to your child’s IEP by organizing goals, services, and supports in one easy-to-review place. Spots are filling fast — sign up now to lock in the discount!
FREE live Q&A: Troubleshooting Inclusion → Thursday, March 19, 12:00 p.m. PT
Participation with peers helps our kids with IEPs build invaluable skills at school, but so many barriers can get in the way of meaningful inclusion. How do we make sure our kids can benefit from socializing with and learning alongside their peers in gen ed? Join us for a FREE live Q&A with Non-Attorney Education Advocate Karen Ford Cull, who specializes in inclusion. Register for free here→
Office hours → Wednesday, March 11, 4:00 p.m. PT
Join us for members-only office hours with Non-Attorney Education Advocate Karen Ford Cull to ask your special education questions over Zoom and get direct answers. If you’re not a member, sign up here to participate.
Undivided Conversations
Catch the conversations streaming on Facebook and YouTube:
- Saturday, March 7, 10:00 a.m. PT → Reframing Behavior. Revisit our conversation with Ross Greene, PhD, who explains why challenging behavior isn’t always what it seems — and how parents can look beyond the behavior to identify the real unsolved problem.
- Sunday, March 8, 10:00 a.m. PT → Emotional Disability (ED) 101. Catch our newest conversation on the ins and outs of Emotional Disability (ED) with insights from a disability advocate, special education professor, and two non-attorney special education advocates.
What is PDA and how does it affect a child’s behavior? Get a 3-minute rundown from psychotherapist Jessica Richards on our YouTube channel→
Can a student have emotional disability and another diagnosis in the IEP? Hear from education advocate Hadassah Lynne Foster on Instagram→
This week in our Facebook group: a new platform for finding specialized caregivers, accessibility for public transport in Los Angeles, and more! Join the discussion→
Help families, educators, and providers change how we understand behavior! Share Undivided resources on LinkedIn→
Undivided Voices Podcast Season 2, Episode 7: Our Lessons Learned from the Kindergarten IEP
🎙️ In this episode, Undivided Parent and Navigator duo Isabelle and Kelly talk about how they worked together to advocate for inclusion with supports, language immersion, and retention for Isabelle’s daughter’s kindergarten experience. Now streaming on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, anywhere.
